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In May 1967, a few weeks before the "Summer of Love" officially started, I arrived in Norfolk, Virginia. I don't remember anything about my birth, or my first year. I don't even remember stuffing that piece of hamburger up my nose when I was a toddler. You would think I would remember the doctor inserting that tube up my nose to retrieve that meat. Maybe I've sublimated it. That might explain some of my later behavior.

I do remember dressing up as "Max," the little boy who traveled to the land "Where the Wild Things Are." It was the best Halloween costume I ever wore. It was also my favorite childhood Halloween--even though I recall that night in 1970 as wet and cool and I fell and dropped several pieces of candy from my little, plastic orange jack-o’-lantern. The ground was so wet, in fact, that I lost several of the black, felt toenails from my suit. I wish I had kept that costume, but like my cool Fisher-Price® toys, Lego® blocks, and Matchbox® car collection, the wicked Trash Fairy took and gave them to someone else. The same thing happened to most of my sister's toys, I think. She arrived nine months after this picture was taken. And the toys she didn't lose to the Trash Fairy, I broke.

My next several years were uneventful. I spent many hours impersonating "Richard Nixon" for my parents' friends. I would run around the house, scrunch my face and loudly proclaim, "I AM NOT A CROOK." Again, that stuffed hamburger up my nose may explain this. After Nixon, I next impersonated the Fonz. I would stand up on my Marx "Big Wheel" and lift my thumbs up in the air. . . "AAYYYYYYYYYYYY." I never crashed my "Big Wheel" because I was too cool. Later, when I learned to ride a bike, I would set up wood ramps and jump over beer cans. I didn't drink beer then, but I knew kids who did and I could always rely on them for the cans.

By elementary school, my strong safety record allowed me to become Captain of The Sixth Grade Safety Patrol. I don't have any pictures from sixth grade. This is good because the only other thing I remember is a violent episode of vomiting, which occurred after my having to breathe fresh paint from the newly remodeled school bathroom for several hours.

I don't have anything nice to say about junior high.

I enjoyed high school. I started a club for nerds like me. I called it the "investment club" and pretended to enjoy researching stocks. Later, when I applied to colleges, I listed the investment club as school service. I also formed and coached an all-nerd basketball team, which I also mentioned on my applications.

I attended college in New York City. I played many games of hearts, ate lots of Asian food and whined about not having any dates. After four years, I earned my B.A. in English and Comparative Literature with a 3.615 grade average. I interviewed with various firms, including one that used an old-fashioned freight elevator. I was stuck in the elevator until the interviewer rescued me. I didn't get that job. Shortly thereafter, I returned home to live with my parents.

Over the next year, I traveled across Europe, wrote obituaries for a local newspaper and volunteered my time playing guitar at elementary schools. During this time, I wrote several songs, including the classics "American Way" and "(We gonna go to the) K Mart Store."

I eventually escaped my small town and attended law school in New Orleans. I formed a rock 'n roll band (The Hoyts) with my pals Dan (and later Joe), and ate lots of Cajun food. Dan and I recorded the album "American Way," which we also copyrighted. The album was not sold in stores and developed a small, but loyal, rabid cult following. After three years, I earned my J.D. with a 3.067 grade average. I interviewed with various firms, including one that used a Polaroid camera to take a picture of me. I didn't get that job. Shortly thereafter, I returned home to live with my parents.

I went to work for state government. Then I went to work for a corporate firm. Then my dad died. That sucked. Shortly thereafter, I took a job with a plaintiff’s firm and returned home to live with my mom.

Then I met my wonderful wife. She loves playing Scrabble® with me and always beats me at Boggle®. So, of course, I married her.

I spent the next several years working for a small law firm where I focused my practice on employment cases. Since August, 2005, I’ve worked as a public interest lawyer. I don’t discuss my work here. I wish I could. I really do. There are some incredibly amazing people I’ve met from my work as a lawyer.

My wife and I have a son and a daughter. Neither has stuffed any hamburger meat up their noses--yet.